


A Theif

by Hereorthere



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Klaus misses Dave, M/M, Sad Klaus, the bartender has a thing for broken things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hereorthere/pseuds/Hereorthere
Summary: The bartender might be harboring a bit of a crush on his most problematic customer.My friend challenged me to write off the prompt: "A bartender who somehow serves drinks to both the living and the dead."Klaus Hargreeves was the obvious choice.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	A Theif

**Author's Note:**

> A fic written drunk, edited drunk. No beta we die like Ben Hargreeves

It had been a pretty quiet night at the bar, had been ever since Klaus hadn't been by. John was finding himself wondering where that strange man was most nights when he should be focusing on the customers. What could he say, Klaus had gotten under his skin.

SLAM! 

Both doors swung open as the devil himself strode in like he owned the place.

“I thought we finally got rid of you once and for all. It was just starting to get peaceful around here." John said.

“Oh well hello to you too asshole. I missed you so much. I know that this place was hell without me and you're actually excited to see me."

“Uh-huh.” He was already pouring Klaus a triple shot of the cheapest they had. Not even bothering to put the bottle away. 

Fucking just when you hoped the guy had his shit together, he pops up out of nowhere again ready to get himself blacked out. 

John had found a pattern. Most drunks will get to spilling their life story pretty fast when they had enough in em, but Klaus tended to only spout more bullshit. Shame. 

He took his job as a bartender seriously, never serve to minors, keeps track of who’s had too much. His own personal motto was to try to help out those who seemed like they were done with life. John had a habit of sticking his nose where it didn't belong, but it was all in the interest of helping people really. Klaus was the one who never seemed to open up at all. 

He started working at this bar to pay the rent. Times were hard and music just didn't always pay the bills.  
Though he did end up finding a reason to stay. Namely one very eccentric scantly clad alcoholic who was never forthcoming as to why he was so desperate to drown himself in a drink. 

"What happened this time?"

Klaus laughed “Would you believe my brother has predicted the apocalypse and we’re all likely to die at the hands of my very quiet, very closeted gay sister and her violin?"

Again with the jokes. He’d never get this guy. “Haha very funny”

Klaus sat heavily on the barstool, somehow kicking his feet up and onto the counter without falling over. “ You know I find it insulting that you never believe me."

John decided to humor him. “Okay then. How exactly did your brother predict the end of the world?"

“He got stuck in the future of course.”

“Ah, of course. How else.”

As he turned around to grab some other glasses to clean, he heard Klaus mutter “No, you can't have any, and stop worrying. It's fine, there's no way he’d believe me anyway."

He had honestly kind of missed Klaus’ weird quirks. The muttering, the talking to himself. It was weirdly endearing. Yeah yeah, he knew he was whipped. There was nothing he could do about it really. Klaus just had this resigned kind of sadness to him, and it drove him crazy. He just wanted to know him. 

“Ugh, fine. I'm not drunk enough for this. John, will you please pour my invisible friend something to drink."

John laughed. “Of course. Only if I can have it when he’s finished with it."

"Why of course John, what do you take me for? An alcoholic?"

John chuckled and poured Klaus' "friend" a drink. 

"Here you are."

He set the drink on the table, watched intently as it stay put. 

Klaus suddenly laughed loudly, "Why do they never believe me, John? They always think I'm lying.” He held up his drink, “Oh well, cheers my handsome friend.”

John was thankful for the low lighting because holy shit did this guy just call him handsome? Forget the fact that nearly everything out of his mouth was bullshit, John was flattered. Face burning he took the drink and clinked his glass against Klaus’.

"Cheers."

They drank. 

"Haven't seen you in a while, Klaus, how have you been?"

Klaus barked out a laugh, “As good as ever John can’t you tell?"

"You know sometimes people genuinely care about how you’ve been."

Klaus stopped laughing and just stared at him.

“You are a strange man, John.”

"How so?"

“You always ask how I’ve been and yet never believe me when I tell you." 

“Well, I guess some of the things you say sound pretty far fetched. And honestly sound more like nonsense said to dodge the actual question anyway.”

“Jesus John, don't hold back okay?"

“Okay”

"You literally are so weird."

John, feeling a little brave, ushered back “Yeah but you like weird. We’re quite a pair.”

He never in his life would forget the absolute delighted blush that overtook the other man's face.  
Klaus laughed loudly in glee.

"John, I never knew you had moves where have you been hiding them?"

It’d been so long since he’d seen Klaus. He was just happy to be around him again, his strangeness was infective and just endearing. So he said the truth. 

"You’re normally way too drunk to remember when I get brave enough to flirt with you. "

Klaus looked genuinely surprised. John was tired of not speaking his mind. So he just left the truth there. Didn't try to retract his statement. Didn't try to play it off.  
Just kept smiling at Klaus. 

Klaus slammed the rest of his drink back. “Well, I do believe we have wasted enough time don't you, John?"  
As he hopped up onto the stool and practically crawled across the bar to plant a very, very nice kiss on John's lips.

John really had no idea how he would recover from this. Luckily the bar was mostly empty, so he let himself indulge for just a moment. And then pulled away. Klaus stayed close, smiled brightly at him.  
“Come back in two hours?” John asked.

“Want me all to yourself do you?”

John laughed, “Yes. I also would like to take you on a date if you’d let me.”

Klaus obviously was not expecting that. His smile faded.

“I...John, I think you’re wonderful. This is my favorite bar because of you, you know? I just, I'm not ready to start dating again. Maybe someday, but I...can't handle another heartbreak. Losing Dave was. Like losing half of myself. I really do think you are amazing though, any man would be the luckiest guy to have your affections.”

To be honest, John had been 95% expecting a no. So, yeah he was disappointed but Klaus had also opened up. He knew more about him now then he had in the few years he’d been here. 

Heartbreak. Of course.

“Well I can't say I'm not disappointed,” John said good-naturedly. "But promise me you’ll come find me if you ever change your mind?"

Klaus laughed again, “You never cease to surprise me, John. Yeah, I’ll come find you.”

They shared a smile. Klaus grabbed John's face and whispered “One more for the apocalypse?” John huffed a laugh and kissed him soundly, trying to enjoy it while it lasted. 

Klaus finally climbed down off the counter with a smile on his face. John felt like he’d had three or four shots himself as he watched Klaus walk out the doors.

Dazed, it took him a couple of minutes to try and remember what he was supposed to be doing. As he reached for the bottle of the cheap stuff he’d poured Klaus there was nothing there. He looked all around and came to one conclusion. 

That drunk son of a bitch was a thief too.

**Author's Note:**

> Get it? Cause he stole John's heart??  
> Thanks for reading this silly and sad little fic!


End file.
